Tara Jane Style

There’s been a lot of talk lately about the word “flattering” when it comes to clothing and the negative connotation behind the word. When we tell someone that “dress is flattering on you” it really means “that dress makes you look skinny,” because “thin” = good and fat = bad.

I can’t begin to fathom how many times I would look in the mirror and tell myself I can’t wear something because it doesn’t “look good,” knowing full well that I meant it showed my rolls, lumps and bumps, and it didn’t make me look “skinny.”

I do agree that the world has a toxic fascination with being “skinny” and it is such an outdated viewpoint to think that the number on a tag or the scale is how beauty should be ranked. A quote I heard in the last year that has been super healing for me is, “someone else’s opinion on my body is actually none of my business.” Granted, when you do what I do knowing full well your body isn’t everyone’s personal standard of beauty, a lot more people feel empowered to voice their unsolicited opinions (something I’ll never truly understand but that’s another post for another day…) and it can be hard to feel confident. But it’s like Katt Williams says in my favorite comedy special of all time, “it’s called self esteem. It’s esteem of your motherfucking self, Bitch.”

I don’t agree with the abolishment of the word “flattering,” simply because there ARE some outfits that look better on me aka are more flattering, because I am confident in them. CONFIDENCE is what makes an outfit flattering or not.

I thought it may be a good idea to showcase two outfits that have all of the same elements except one. While I feel great in both outfits the proportions ARE different, so let’s talk through it!

The similars for both outfits are the skort, boots, hair, and lip. The difference is the top.

Outfit 1: Sweater + Skort

In this outfit I am wearing a loosely fitting turtleneck sweater. Another common misconception is that an oversized fit, especially on a larger body, is frumpy. I wouldn’t call this frumpy by any means.

In fact, while this is definitely more upscale than a matching sweatsuit, this outfit is a homerun for me. It’s dressy, but still feels casual enough that I honestly don’t think there is any situation I could NOT wear it. Granted there may be some instances where tights may be appropriate, but that’s it.

Outfit 2: Bodysuit + Skort

The tighter fit of this bodysuit changes the vibe of the entire outfit. The body hugging silhouette here elevates this look into “sexy” and it would feel over the top for me to grab a coffee or run errands in it….this is the type of outfit I’d want to wear to impress someone.

While I honestly do not find one outfit to be more “flattering” than the other, it would be a lie to say that the proportions of the outfits don’t change the vibe of the look.

The way we currently use the term “flattering” is antiquated and does a lot of harm. By rewriting the narrative to define “flattering” as an energy we want to put off with our outfit, we put our own sense of self front and center and I love that.

From now on “flattering” = “confidence.”

XOXO, Tara